These are my weights.

As I sat down to write tonight. I sat here with a heavy heart. I haven't posted in a couple weeks because I knew  that if I sat down to type, it would open the heavy burden of my past that has consumed me more now than it ever has in my life.
I sat here and was going to tell you all about how when I was 2 years old, my Mother took my Sister and left me with my Father till I was 3. A few years ago my Mother blindingly gave me the information that while they were gone, "the babysitter would call me and tell me you had un-attended to ear infections, and would sit in the corner and shake"....some things....I could've done with out knowing. When I spoke with my Sister about how deeply hurt I am with my Mother leaving me, she tried to console me by saying "Mom was really good with you when you were young, she got really mad at your Dad when he'd slap you across the face"...again...could've done with out.
Recently I've been in contact with a sibling of my Mother's...I have great memories with the person's family, I found out that when I was 10 after my Mother tried for the second time to commit suicide (leaving me again for the um-tenth time) this family tried to keep my brother and I as their own. My Mother wouldn't sign over custody unless she could've come and been taken care of as well. This is the part that has been haunting me. Why couldn't she have known what was good for us and just let us go? I could've lived with a beautiful family, a stable environment, with a Mom that would do things like...in the middle of the night get all of the kids out of bed and give us flashlights searching for racoons!! I could've met my soul-mate Justin a different person, one that didn't have baggage, that trusted-and possibly had a family that could contribute to our family as well!
I know God had a purpose for me. My life is so beautiful now. I've never ever dealt with my past. I wasn't ready to, now for some reason the wounds are finally bleeding and I haven't known what to do with them...
Until now.
As I sat here to use you as my counselor, I scrolled down to a fellow bloggers titled post "Weights become wings".
These are my weights, these are the things that have been weighing me down. Please Lord, turn them into wings. Help me help others by what has been done (or not done) to me, so that maybe one person on this earth will hurt a little less.
I'm thankful of that person's blog, because I finally feel that all by myself, I can move on....