Finding Completion

After the birth of my daughter, the first thing people ask me is "So... are you done?"
My Hubby and I had both prayed to have at least one child of each gender. Now that we have been blessed with both....are we really done? Can we close this chapter in our lives and move on?
For 6 months (since Lilly was born) I've searched deep with in my soul and have gone back and forth on my answer.
I can't begin to describe the sense of completion I feel enjoying my daughter. I still get butterflies in my tummy when I think about us getting pedicures together, placing a flower in her hair for prom, standing behind her on her wedding day telling her how beautiful she looks, as I clasp her necklace on. I've ached for a daughter since I was married! We even decided on the name Lilly Bea a few months before the wedding....if you look on our invitations there are lily's, in every window at the altar where we said our vows...lily's....all through our wedding we had hints of lily's, and we were married for 7 years before we had her! She was meant to be, and a gift from God and I just feel so complete with her here.

Of course we know how much Austin is close to my heart! He is my heart! He was my first! He has more charm than Hubby and I and the whole world put together! After having a miscarriage from my first pregnancy, I cried every night. I felt I was cheated out of being a Mother. I ached and ached to be pregnant again. And when I found out I was pregant with Austin (3 months after the miscarriage), I knew it was in the Lord's plan for Austin to be in this world, because it wouldn't have been possible if I remained pregnant with the first....after everything we went through, Austin was meant to walk on this world. And what a joy he is to this world!  When he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my neck, I know how much he loves his Mommy, or when he wakes up in the middle of the night from a bad dream and perks his cute lips up to kiss me for saving him...I melt. When I see him chasing his Daddy around all day to be just like him...thats when I feel....complete.

This sense of completion didn't enter my mind until Lilly came to the world. Before her, I knew we were not a family of 3. It feels great to know that we can move forward and be able to look back on the memories.


However, I can't seal the book shut! I wish I could!  I can go as far to say that Justin and I don't feel the need to have another child. But we would like to live on God's perfect way, not His permissive way. No surgury's, or snipping...just the good old fashion control that worked before! We'll revisit the subject in a few years. For now, I'm happy, I'm so blessed.... I love my husband, my children, my job, my church, my family, my friends. Could this girl be any more blessed? God only knows;)